Update

I can't do it. Tomorrow is supposed to be my 3rd dosage. I feel like crap. Worse than crap. I'm exhausted. When I have energy it's short lived. The nausea is just starting to go away. My neck has been bothering me the last two days, so sleeping is difficult. I'm afraid to take the next dosage. 

It's been a while

This year got away from me. One big blur. I started smoking cigarettes again after quitting for 18yrs. I quit again, but not without repercussions. Tobacco is a nightshade plant.Some folks with lupus are very sensitive to nightshade vegetables(plants). That didn't go over so well. Have pain in my joints ( normal), but a more intense and problematic pain in my finger that won't go away. Sounds familiar ( please not the headache thing all over again!). I started methotrexate last week. Not a fan as of yet. Needed someone to talk to. It feel like complaining when I talk to family and friends. They don't understand anyway, so what's the point. A bit groggy so going to stop here. Thanks for reading. 

For today

Every day is a silent struggle. I know it will get better. 

Blood patch

Had blood patch done today. Me and my little veins. He couldn't get the typical amount of blood. Wish me luck with what he got. Wasn't as bad as spinal tap. 

Upgrade to miserable

This has been going on too long! I have an appointment for the blood patch tomorrow. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I should have never went to the neurologist looking for the answers to my brain issues. This is like one of those old family secrets that you don't go looking for the answers. You just except it for what it is and don't dig for answers. Come on you all know what I'm talking about. The why is so and so they way they are, or what happened to the blank that mom had.  No one knows. Someone knows just don't go digging for the answers. LOL Hmm. Don't know if I should be laughing at that one. :0) Oh well. If I can laugh right now than let me. I'll look back at this later and say WTF was I thinking. Getting off the computer for now. My back is starting to hurt.
Have an awesome evening.

Live.Love.Laugh.Enjoy!

Dizzy

Getting dizzier by the moment. That can be taken two ways! LOL Still not back up to snuff. Put in a call to my primary last night and this morning. Last night because I took a double dose of my gabapentin I'm so off. OMG I couldn't believe it. I took my dose in the living room before I went to bed. Went to the bathroom, walked in the bedroom, saw my bottle of water by the bed and took my medicine again. Didn't realize it until I got in the bed and about 15 min later I started feeling the room spin. Call the ER who instructed me to call my on call doc. Instead of taking 900mg I took 1800mg. As I read this, I'm thinking, I'm a mess. But I don't like to think I'm this much of a mess. Any who, put in a call to primary this morning to find out what I should do about my reaction to the spinal tap. For various reasons I'm not comfortable with my neurologists office. Ran my reasons by a friend and had her speak to the nurse with me on the phone ( she uses the office) and she agrees with me. I'm not crazy. Shit isn't right in that office. So now I'm getting rid of yet another neurologist. What is this number 4? Well I'm still sitting up. Still dizzy, but not nauseas. Is that a good sign of getting better or I still need the blood patch? Time to get some answers.

Live.Laugh.Love.Enjoy!

New Day

That blood patch is looking pretty good to me right now! LOL I've been doing some searching online and it seems that this is the solution to my problem. More needles. I'm done with docs. I shouldn't say that, but I felt better before. I decided it was time to find a neurologist because I noticed I was a bit more spacey than usual. Background - I'm eating meat again! Is there truly a connection or do I just want there to be! I never full out gave up meat/products, but I had cut down drastically to maybe 4 items month. Not a whole meal, but maybe a slice of cheese one week, butter on toast another, things like that. Now it's full out eating everything. So I started feeling a bit weird- that's the only way I can describe it and I knew needed to have a neurologist anyway. I'm on SSD and I'd be up for review eventually. Who has headaches everyday for 6 years and not has a neurologist? Me! This is why people! Crap like this happens to me! I'm supposed to be this positive voice aren't I. Just take this as a lesson that you're not alone. I know this is happening to someone else out there. You have a kindred spirit.:0) We will get through this, with a small amount of bitching. It's healthy. I'm at the bargaining stage, just get me through this and I'll exercise and eat healthy! LOL For those who know me I'm in real pain because I never offer exercise as an exchange! I just want to feel better. Is that to much to ask? And now here comes the water works. What did I do that was so awful in another life, because I'm perfect in this one! LOL I can always make myself laugh! I'm done for now.

Live.Laugh.Love.Enjoy!