Wednesday, October 27, 2010

new reminder

Just finished reading the book, Skinny Bitch. I loved it! Especially the end. I had forgotten to dream. I always remember I want to be healthy. I want to be pain free. But what else. That use to be enough. What am I going to be when I grow up? What are the things I want to accomplish? What happended to my list of 100 things I want to do before I die? Not as morbid as I once thought. I am 40 now and it's time to make things happen. I started my list about 5 years ago and some of the things on the list started getting done and I got scared. I put something on the list that I really didn't think would ever happen and it did! Freaked me out. Didn't write anything else on the list after that. Face fears and live my life. It's time. So Skinny Bitch is not just about being skinny, it touches on so many health and social conscious issues.
It reminded me about my affirmations. POWERFUL. Didn't realize how powerful until I had little energy to get out of bed and had very little hope and no faith in medicine and wrote down my affirmations faithfully every day 10 times each and would often say them. I did this for months and look how far I've come. Words are power. I'm learning to use them wisely.
I've been busy, so I haven't had time to sit and write. I look back and I don't know what I've been busy doing. I need to slow down. I say that often. It's not the physical zooming around, it's more of the mind racing and really, why. I'm back to meditating. It helps.  It's tough to quiet the mind. I'm out of practice.

I need to become a bit more social. I spend a lot of time in the house or with just the hubby and kids. I've let go of some stressful relationships over the summer so I'm leary of getting mixed up in new friendships. Not looking for a best friend, but I do need to get out and meet people. I use the excuse of having lupus and it being tough because of my energy level. It's not that tough. I just have to reach out and say hello. Again not looking for a best bud, not sure what I'm looking for. I'm not a phone person. I don't know. I do know I need to get out more. My next favorite is the I don't have any money. I have money for everything else though. Why do I have to spend a lot of money to get out of the house?! I'm  I know how it's done. Smile and say hello. Listen to me, I sound like I'm going out to pick up a man!!!
Feels good to write again!