Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Still trying to get energy. Where do you get it from? I'm so tired I can barely lift my arms. All of a sudden. Not sleepy, I took a nap earlier. Oh well. Don't try to make sense of the unexplainable.

Monday, May 21, 2012


Glad I had the weekend to think things through and get more info. I've decided to wait until I'm settled in SC and have my surgery there. It's too much to try to do it now. My son is graduating from high school and I want to be there. Plus I have a ton of packing and people I want to see before I leave. And get this! I believe I wrote about my hemorrhoid surgery last year. Well with all the fiber I was taking for a cleanse ( don't ask me why I do these things!) and iron I'm taking, they're back! I can't, but I can believe it! All that pain getting them removed! What are you gonna do! Suck it up and move on sister! I'm watching Will and Grace, can you tell! lol
Had a nice weekend all and all. Went to a few tag sales. Just to get some air, not to buy. Actually I did pick up a few things. I did get rid of some of my stuff, so I don't feel like I'm collecting more stuff. I need help in sooo many areas! I had my first battle with the sun this season. I was wiped out and in a bit of pain. Had to lay down both days. Not the usually drama associated with it, because it's expected now. No sunscreen no hat. I know that's a no no. I went out and bought a cute hat in Kohls on Sunday! Have to pick some sunscreen. I lost a brand new bottle when I was in SC a few weeks ago.That's all for now! Have an awesome, awesome day!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Every day is a challenge

I started writing yesterday for a reason. Now I'm sitting here in tears. It doesn't look like they're going to be able to schedule my surgery for another two weeks. That only leaves me with 3 weeks to recover before I leave. I may be able to squeeze a couple of days, but I don't know if it's enough time. I'm thinking of having the surgery in SC. I don't want to jump the gun, but I also want a plan B. I'm so agravated. I set me off was that the woman scheduling my surgery blamed it on not having my blood work results as of this morning. I told her my rheumatologist that I saw yesterday had them so why didn't she and her office ordered them. I just want to scream.

Just went for a Dunkin' Donuts!!! Sometimes all you need is a bit of sugar! It will all work out.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Feeling the need to write

It hasn't been as long as I thought. I've been needing to come back and write, it just hasn't happened! Life has gotten very complicated again. Everything felt overwhelming. It's not that serious at the moment. lol I've been forced by my body to slow down yet again. Not the lupus this time. I think it's just old age and stress. I know I'm only 41! My at home business was becoming paralysingly overwhelming. We're  moving to a new state (moving south) next month! And now I have uterine fibroids and bleeding, so I'm having a hysterectomy. Never a dull moment! My silver lining is I'm forced to slow down and re-examine my life again. How do I feel? What has changed? Are they good changes? What things do I need to change? Am I really happy with what I'm doing or do I believe it's my only option? Huh

For today, let's start with how do I feel. Needless to say I've felt better. I tire easily. I have joint pain. The headaches are a given, not worth mentioning anymore. That's the physical. That's easy. I'm bleeding and I'm eating meat again. If I stop doing both I'm sure I'd feel much better! How do you move South and not eat meat! I know that's an excuse to indulge. If I'm going to be honest, it's nice to eat meat again. It's the taste. I miss the flavors. I still feel like a stuffed turkey after I eat and I don't feel as well. I'll go back to being a vegetarian. I always do!
Mentally I'm confused and drained. I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with myself. I'm not a sit still type of person, but I still do too much and become overwhelmed and get sick in some form or fashion. Because of  my limited energy, I don't exercise and take care of myself the way I'm supposed to when I try to "work". I haven't done yoga since I decided not to go to school to be an instructor. Some how I have to find a way to make being healthy a job. Can you make a career out of blogging? If you can, where do I sign up!  Fortunately I'm not depressed. I'm so excited about our move! I can't wait! I'm letting go of situations I have no control over. I've learned to tune out  and say no. I no longer try to find a way to give my kids what they want, but instead encourage them and give them ideas on how to make it work for themselves. If they don't want my advice, then I back off! That was a hard one. It's going well so far!
That's all for now.