Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Feeling the need to write

It hasn't been as long as I thought. I've been needing to come back and write, it just hasn't happened! Life has gotten very complicated again. Everything felt overwhelming. It's not that serious at the moment. lol I've been forced by my body to slow down yet again. Not the lupus this time. I think it's just old age and stress. I know I'm only 41! My at home business was becoming paralysingly overwhelming. We're  moving to a new state (moving south) next month! And now I have uterine fibroids and bleeding, so I'm having a hysterectomy. Never a dull moment! My silver lining is I'm forced to slow down and re-examine my life again. How do I feel? What has changed? Are they good changes? What things do I need to change? Am I really happy with what I'm doing or do I believe it's my only option? Huh

For today, let's start with how do I feel. Needless to say I've felt better. I tire easily. I have joint pain. The headaches are a given, not worth mentioning anymore. That's the physical. That's easy. I'm bleeding and I'm eating meat again. If I stop doing both I'm sure I'd feel much better! How do you move South and not eat meat! I know that's an excuse to indulge. If I'm going to be honest, it's nice to eat meat again. It's the taste. I miss the flavors. I still feel like a stuffed turkey after I eat and I don't feel as well. I'll go back to being a vegetarian. I always do!
Mentally I'm confused and drained. I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with myself. I'm not a sit still type of person, but I still do too much and become overwhelmed and get sick in some form or fashion. Because of  my limited energy, I don't exercise and take care of myself the way I'm supposed to when I try to "work". I haven't done yoga since I decided not to go to school to be an instructor. Some how I have to find a way to make being healthy a job. Can you make a career out of blogging? If you can, where do I sign up!  Fortunately I'm not depressed. I'm so excited about our move! I can't wait! I'm letting go of situations I have no control over. I've learned to tune out  and say no. I no longer try to find a way to give my kids what they want, but instead encourage them and give them ideas on how to make it work for themselves. If they don't want my advice, then I back off! That was a hard one. It's going well so far!
That's all for now.

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