Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Where ever you want to go

I too am a firm believer in the mind taking you where ever you want to go. May sound creepy, but let's explore. 98% of the time I have imagined a goal, really planned in out and here is the key (this is all learned stuff) you have to feel it, I have achieved it. The other 2% I stopped visualizing. Example- I wanted a new car. I picked out my new car. I went a the dealership - didn't have the money for it and at the time I didn' believe I was ready- and test drove the car I wanted so in my mind I could visualize me in my car. I could feel the excitement of me driving my new car. I could smell my new car. Then I went home and put a picture of my new car on my computer as a favorite. Every morning I looked at my new car and visualized me driving and how it felt. I would be driving to work, driving to familiar places and feeling myself getting in the car, feel putting my hands on the steering wheel. Feel every moment. Then I would go off with my day. About 4 months later I get a call from the dealership saying that they had the car I wanted in. ( Jeep was only releasing a certain number and color of these cars to dealerships). Well I thought how was I going to get a loan for this car. I called my credit union. They happened to have a fabulous special going on with 100% financing. I thought I'm never going to be approved, But I had been visualizing me in this car for 4 months. I submitted the application in the morning. When I came back from lunch I had a phone call. I called back and I was approved! I was driving the next day. The funny thing is it wasn't the color I wanted but the color I test drove and had as a favorite on the computer because I had forgot the change to the color that I was visualizing everday! My point is be very careful what you visualize on a daily basis. Make it positive, make it beautiful, and be very specific! I have many more examples but I'll save that for another time. By the way I still love my new car (3 years old now), color and all! Have fun visualizing!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Feeling Lazy

For me it's late and I'm tired, but I learned something new and had to try it out. Isn't she beautiful. MGM in Las Vegas. I feel like this right now. Just relaxing. Didn't over do it today. No trying to get 5 things done and exhausting myself. Resting up for tomorrow. Goodnight.

Positive thinking

My faith has been restored. The minute you take yourself out of a situation and think positive, good things happen. I got a response from the person I reached out to. I'm not sure about the delay, but I am sure that it had nothing to do with me. I can't let life get me down. We all have our moments. THINK POSITIVE. Words to live by.


This morning before I got out of bed I made myself think of three things I was grateful for. It's not as easy as it sounds on some days. I like to think of new things and not keep repeating the same ones because then it becomes routine and I'm not putting any thought into it and really appreciating these things. To be honest as I write I can't even remember what the three things were. I guess it doesn't matter because I remember the feeling I got from it. I got out of bed with a smile and I was able to transfer my happiness to my children as they got off to school. Having lupus most mornings- every morning- I need a reason to get out of bed and a focus on something other than the pain. When people see me I always have a smile - ok not always most of the time:) . One gentleman that I met at my favorite dentist's office, said that he couldn't believe that I had lupus because I was smiling and didn't appear to be in pain. Oh yeah gratitude - I was getting off track- I smile because I am grateful. I'm still here, I still breathe, I still can walk, I still can hold my children and my husband, I still can look outside and see all the beautiful colors, I still can smell all the delicious aromas of fall. It's the simple things that make me happy. Things we all can be grateful for. Enjoy your day!

Check Yourself

I resently reached out to someone I didn't know for a position on a voluntary board. I haven't heard anything. My immediate thought was to be angry and want nothing to do with the organization. That lasted 2 minutes. Then I began to doubt whether he thought I was good enough. I know I'm good enough ( an improvement from the past). A lot of other thoughts came to mind. You know the race issue presented itself. I don't use the race card because I always stand on my own merrit, but if you don't take the time to get to know me - I'm not naive enough to think that racism isn't present in this world. Hell, I don't even know if he knows I'm black.  But I will ignore all of these thoughts and check myself. I volunteer from the heart. It's not about recognition. It's about the feeling of well being that I get from helping others. I also have to remember that it's not always about me. There could be other things going on in peoples lives. If it is about me, I can't control what others think. I can only control my reaction to it. I am not defined by what people think of me. So I continue to help my cause. Letting people know about Lupus. Being a face and a voice. Knowledge is power right?! The more people who know and connect themselve to this disease the more help we will get.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Diaries of Mad Love

I just read a great book, Diaries of Mad Love by Sole Patterson. It was filled with drama, deceit, steamy love scenes, and a powerful message about being true to yourself. I love it. It's not in stores yet but can be purchased online at . Definitely one for the library!!


I love " I promise myself". I have a copy of it on the mirror in my bedroom so that I look at it every morning and read it in its entirety on most. I gives me such a feeling of well being. I can't believe he wrote it around 1917. Don't quote me on the year. Good words to live by never go out of style. They apply to all generations. As much as we as a society like to think we have changed and evolved, we really haven't. We keep making the same mistakes and not learning from them. Fighting for superiority instead as living as one. I try to be happy with what I have and who I am. I'm not in competition with anyone. I can appreciate everyones differentness or uniqueness. When I started changing my mindset I noticed a lot of things. The most noticable was the absence of the friends that I once had. Some relationships are very stressful on both ends. When I concentrated on being positive. Truly positve! All of the once stressful relationships melted away. It's lonely at first, because I am use to the drama. Now it's peaceful. New people came into my life. I still see the old friends from time to time, but it's definitely different. Again it's not about being superior it's about being different and appreciating the difference without feeling I have to respond to it.

I Promise Myself

I promise myself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look on the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.


Saturday, September 26, 2009


I'm in a talkative mood this morning so bare with me. My spelling is shot also :) . I was confused with fatigue and energy. I have now come to realise that it's not the same thing. I've been eating healthy for a while now. It's creating all this energy and it's fabulous. But!! My body can't handle it. I'm not so sure that it's because I'm out of shape and I am OUT OF SHAPE. I bike ride, I walk, I do yoga - not in the same day and most times not even in the same week- you got me- sometimes not in the same month. But when I do those things I feel tired. The out of shape tired that one would feel when they're not use to the activity. This is different. When I take advantage of my new found energy. I get massive  headaches and I'm in bed with fatigue - the debilitating depletion of energy - for a day or two. So how do you enjoy all of this energy that I am not accustomed to and not do myself harm. I guess that's why I am channelling my energy into my writing. I am going to leave now, my son is actually interested in doing educational things on a Saturday, Hurray!!!!


Every bored chick wants to be a writer or  photographer. I do both. I guess that makes me truly bored or very inciteful. I'm writing a book. I've always been told that my life is colorful and you should write a book. Even in highschool. Who has the time or patience. Right now I have nothing but time and more patience than I've had in years if not ever. I like taking pictures because I want the world to see the beauty around them the way I see it. For that reason I don't like to do portraits. I don't believe you see the real person in a portrait, only what they want you to see. You'll see my photographs in my blog so enjoy.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Finding Peace

This morning I went to a yoga class. I love yoga. It allows me to slow down and just be in the moment. Today we focused on ahisma. Being kind and generous to others. By doing this I reap the benefit of feeling good. If I give from the heart (not because I want something in return or feel like I have to) I feel really good and at peace. I try to do a random act of kindness everyday for someone I don't know. Whether it's holding open a door, letting a car go in front me, or helping someone that looks lost. You know the look- hmm don't know what I'm doing but not going to ask for help. Sometimes there's no need to ask. What do does all this have to do with Lupus. Having lupus means I have to always find ways to feel good. I can't focus on the pain, the aches, the confusion. If I'm feeling good those things melt into the background and when the take a front seat, I have something to refocus on until pain, aches, and confusion get better. So for today, I will be kind and generous not only to others, but to myself.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Evening Thoughts

It's evening and I'm exhausted. I had day filled with culinary delights thanks to my friend Wendy! Butternut squash soup and corn muffins for dinner.mmmm Even though the weather is still warm the season has changed and with it we need to change. We are part of nature and when you don't follow the pattern you become unbalanced. Eating foods that are a little heavier and use foods that are harvested in the fall and local to you is a good way to stay in harmony with nature. Soups, stews, cassaroles. I'm definitely a fall person. I love everything about it. The crispness to the air, the vibrant array of colors in the trees, a time to wind down. As you may have noticed my lupus causes me to go all over the place.Think of it as a journey keeping up with me. With the weather cooling off it a great time to do outdoor excercise! Yoga in the yard or a park. A nice walk among the trees away from the noise of cars. Just drink it all in and enjoy! Until tomorrow.

Beautiful Morning

I'm 39 and living with Lupus. It has tranformed me in a beautiful way. I see things so much clearer. I have a better understanding of what is important in life. It's not the things I have, the size of my clothes, the friends and connections that I have that are important. It's my actions. The love and care that I put into life. Being grateful for everything I see, feel, hear and taste. Yes I said taste. What I eat is very important. Having lupus everything affects my body. Learning to take the time and savor everything and every moment is the key to true happiness.