Saturday, December 17, 2011

Looong time!

Just when I think I have it under control, bam! I think I started a blog out like this before. Messed up on my meds and ended up in bed for a few days. I like to forget I have lupus. No one treats me like I have it. I don't look like I have it. My doctors  - well, we all know how that goes. I've been feeling bad for everyone these last few months. I should be doing more to help my family. My husband works to hard. I should be doing more for my kids. The list went on and on and on! I'm feeling better. I feel so good sometimes I forget it's because I've found a balance. I was getting ready to embark on a huge mistake that would have set me back to where I was 3 years ago. That's when I messed up my medicine ( hanging out with the girls I worked with and forgot to take my meds). My stress level started to escalate. It just didn't feel good. I have stress in my life. I manage to keep it to a tolerable level. My life is working for me now. I actually lost my long-term disablility because I'm managing so well. Can you believe it! Because I don't call my doctors twice a day to tell them of the pain I'm in (they don't do much if anything about the pain other than what I'm already on), I wear makeup and take care of my skin so I don't look like the living dead, I stopped seeing my therapist because I wouldn't afford her, and I try to alway have a sunny disposition- I'm fine! I'm no longer sick according to them. They haven't fixed a thing! Just had to take a deep breath. I have to keep moving forward. Thanks for listening.