Saturday, May 29, 2010

Nice Day

I really wasn't having a nice day. The day I had planned for me kept getting pushed aside to do things for the kids. I told one of the boys I would give him a ride to the Renaissance Fair to join his friends. Well. We went to the wrong place three times, because the website was confusing for me and I thought it was in one town and it ended up being on the other side of the state on a college campus that has two campuses. Of course I went to the wrong one. By the time we got there, his friends were gone. I had a fabulous time. I got a henna tattoo and a cool necklace. I sat on a grassy hill with my son, eating freshly made apple cider donuts and watching two men acting like medieval warriors. It was great. And my son enjoyed it too. I did something out of the ordinary. Definitely a do again.
Live. Love. Laugh. Enjoy!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Breathe

I'm taking many deep breaths. My youngest is still giving me grief. I'm trying something new. No punishment. We are going to the track everyday. He is going to run, do stairs, push ups, and anything else I can think of. He and is friend set something on fire in my house and where planning to set more things on fire and throw them in my pool. Has he lost his _ _ _ _ ing mind! I've actually been meditating a lot lately so it's the only thing that saved him. I lost it a couple of times, but not nearly as bad as it could have been. So he and his friend are now on the Madame butterfly track team ( they would die if they knew I just called it that)  :-) . They were bored. Now they have something to do. Taking things away hasn't seemed to work. I'll keep you posted.

I lashed out at a friend yesterday and it doesn't feel good. I felt that she was being used. Someone asked her to do a job that I had resigned from doing because it was too large of a job for me and I felt she was overburdened enough and shouldn't have been asked. Then there were parts where it felt as if they were trying to drag me back in and I don't want to do it. Well, I wasn't a happy camper and I let her know it. It became very heated. In the end. I calmed down and realized it's not my place to try and protect her. She wants to do it because it makes her feel good. I didn't want to do it because it didn't make me feel good. It's okay. I apologized to her. At least I think I did. I know I told her I loved her, but I wouldn't be helping her. That part felt good. Exercising the power to say no. I don't have to do something I don't want to do and it's alright if you do. There's no guilt for me to want to help out. My time is precious. My energy is even more so. It should be spent doing things that make me happy. My new track team makes me happy. :-)  She and I will have to go out to dinner and just chat like we always do.
Right now I'm going to rest up for my day at the track. I actually walk around the track while I'm there.
Live.Laugh.Love. Enjoy!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

The word of the day  is Gratitude. I am so incredibly grateful to see another day, to smell another flower, to pull another weed. I am grateful to have the ability to pick up another sock, wash another dish, and take a deep breath. I woke up this morning with a sense of gratitude. Then I walked out of my bedroom. Just because it's mother's day doesn't mean my world is going to miraculously be different. I made breakfast for my husband, who works at night ( something I try to do everyday if I feel well). That's our time to talk before he goes to bed (he gets off work at 6:30am). Then a made myself a cup of tea ( I can't eat breakfast that early) and escaped to the deck. It was an escape, because I couldn't face the dishes, the socks on the floor, the weeds in the garden. While sitting on the deck, enjoying the breeze - it's kinda cold this morning, I remembered my feeling of gratitude I woke up with this morning. My joints don't hurt, my headache is low ache, my energy level is decent. I'm an grateful  for this. Today is a fantastic day. I am grateful. So I picked up the sock, washed a few dishes ( in stages, because that's how I have to do it), and pulled some weeds. I know what you're thinking. Why not just have the kids do it. It's Mother's Day. I am grateful for the fact that I can do it. So while I can I will. I live in a constant state of the unknown. I guess everyone does, but the thought is always there for me. So I live my life to the fullest while I can. I do what makes me happy at the time. I am grateful. I'm off the buy some Preen for my weeds! Have fun on your Mother's Day!
Live. Love. Laugh. Enjoy!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Feeling Mellow

Good morning! Today I realized that I can at last listen to other peoples' issues and not feel like I have to make them my own. It's so freeing. I can sympathize but I don't feel engrossed. I can walk away and my peace and tranquility (don't want to call it sanity) is still intact. That's a heavy burden when you take on everyone else's stuff along with your own. Again, what was I thinking! I feel too much. I have remembered to mellow out. Take things in stride. Release. Let go. Feel free. It's nice (and without drugs!!!). That's all for now. Be kind to yourself today.
Live. Love. Laugh. Enjoy!