I'm taking many deep breaths. My youngest is still giving me grief. I'm trying something new. No punishment. We are going to the track everyday. He is going to run, do stairs, push ups, and anything else I can think of. He and is friend set something on fire in my house and where planning to set more things on fire and throw them in my pool. Has he lost his _ _ _ _ ing mind! I've actually been meditating a lot lately so it's the only thing that saved him. I lost it a couple of times, but not nearly as bad as it could have been. So he and his friend are now on the Madame butterfly track team ( they would die if they knew I just called it that) :-) . They were bored. Now they have something to do. Taking things away hasn't seemed to work. I'll keep you posted.
I lashed out at a friend yesterday and it doesn't feel good. I felt that she was being used. Someone asked her to do a job that I had resigned from doing because it was too large of a job for me and I felt she was overburdened enough and shouldn't have been asked. Then there were parts where it felt as if they were trying to drag me back in and I don't want to do it. Well, I wasn't a happy camper and I let her know it. It became very heated. In the end. I calmed down and realized it's not my place to try and protect her. She wants to do it because it makes her feel good. I didn't want to do it because it didn't make me feel good. It's okay. I apologized to her. At least I think I did. I know I told her I loved her, but I wouldn't be helping her. That part felt good. Exercising the power to say no. I don't have to do something I don't want to do and it's alright if you do. There's no guilt for me to want to help out. My time is precious. My energy is even more so. It should be spent doing things that make me happy. My new track team makes me happy. :-) She and I will have to go out to dinner and just chat like we always do.
Right now I'm going to rest up for my day at the track. I actually walk around the track while I'm there.